John Oliver took a better have a look at the crypto collapse on Sunday evening, spotlighting three of the once-exploding business’s greatest failures: Terra, Celsius and FTX.
“In idea, they have been purported to be our subsequent greenback, our subsequent Financial institution of America, and our subsequent inventory trade,” he mentioned. “However in actuality, they're fiascos.”
Oliver mentioned each crypto product is one thing somebody merely made at up sooner or later.
“That's true for all of them ― like Dogecoin, Catcoin, Pandacoin, Furrycoin, Cumrocket, Elon Sperm and Monkey Jizz,” he mentioned. “These are all actual, by the best way. We have been going to provide you with a pretend one as a joke, however then we noticed Monkey Jizz and it felt like a hat on a hat.”
Oliver noticed a Celsius memo that referred to as the corporate’s operations “very Ponzi-like” whereas one other referred to as it “probably unlawful and undoubtedly not compliant.”
“What an workplace that should’ve been to work in,” Oliver mentioned, then envisioned it: “End up wandering out to Cheryl’s desk like, ’Hey lady, nice prime. Fast query: Are we, like, doing crimes? ’Cuz I’m getting, like, main crime vibes in right here.’”
And that’s not even near the worst of it.
See extra from his Sunday-night present:
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