Children might say the darndest issues, however dad and momtweet about them within the funniest methods. To that finish, we spherical up essentially the most hilarious quips from dad and mom on Twitter each week to unfold the enjoyment.
Scroll all the way down to learn the newest batch, and observe @HuffPostParents on Twitter for extra!
My twins bought a “goodbye ebook” from their nursery college as a result of it’s their final day and all the opposite children wrote them messages and one woman simply wrote “I’m scared and I’m crying”
— Alena Smith (@internetalena) December 15, 2022
My son simply turned 3 so we went to his yearly examine up and the Physician requested him what his favourite fruit was and he seemed that man lifeless in his eyes and mentioned cheese.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) December 14, 2022
Being a mum or dad is restraining your self from asking your child what the fuck are you speaking about?
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) December 15, 2022
My 7yo requested Tessa’s dad and mom in the event that they drive lifeless folks round. I googled juvenile psychopathy, my husband interrogated our child.
— I Cover From My Children (@IHideFromMyKids) December 11, 2022
It was a station wagon. She thought station wagons have been hearses.
‘I higher not shout, I higher not cry,’ I quietly sing to myself as tuck my child again into mattress for the 87th time.
— One Awkward Mother (@oneawkwardmom) December 16, 2022
I took the children out for the day so my husband might loosen up and apparently my husband’s interpretation of enjoyable is enjoyable and never doing 16 a great deal of laundry.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 14, 2022
My children mispronouncing Michael Bublé is my new favourite vacation custom.
— A Bearer Of Dad Information (@HomeWithPeanut) December 14, 2022
Pregnant folks previous week 30 ought to all be despatched to a heat seaside or desert retreat like a wealthy Victorian lady recovering from mania, the place somebody brings them ice water with lemon and trays of snacks for the remaining months of their being pregnant, retweet in the event you agree.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 14, 2022
My children simply found they'll watch YouTube on the lodge television, so this trip is over
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 10, 2022
One technique to get coworkers to again off is to tug out your cellphone and say “right here let me present you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel”
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 14, 2022
My son made a menorah in preschool and the extent of care and craftsmanship he put into it's frankly antisemitic.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) December 16, 2022
Completed the wrapping paper and instantly challenged my child to a sword battle with the spent tube as a result of I’m a dad and that’s simply how we roll.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 11, 2022
my son simply referred to a home cellphone as a ring-a-ling cellphone and im formally calling them that now
— That Mother Tho (@mom_tho) December 13, 2022
Simply requested a rival dad why there was a lot room between his ceiling and the highest of his Christmas tree.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 14, 2022
Have you ever ever been purchasing with out your child and somebody's little one within the retailer begins whining to their mom and also you breathe a sigh of reduction as a result of that would have been you?
— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) December 13, 2022
My 2yo bought a kazoo in his goodie bag from a good friend’s birthday. A KAZOO. 🤦🏻♀️
— MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) December 10, 2022
My husband texted me from work to ask if our son’s cough was moist or dry and I used to be like whoa whoa whoa, there’s solely room for one pretend physician on this household
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) December 14, 2022
15- I can’t wait to be an grownup so I can simply do no matter I need all day
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) December 12, 2022
Me- *simply getting back from grocery purchasing and on my technique to the third college pickup line in the present day* Sure, it’s merely magical
My 5yo requested for decent sauce on his dinner. Let’s see how this performs out.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) December 13, 2022
7YO: daddy in the event you may very well be any kitchen utensil what would you be?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 11, 2022
ME: a knife, as a result of i’m sharp
7: *with out lacking a beat* and since you all the time reduce the cheese
[this must’ve been how beethoven’s dad felt the first time he heard him play piano]
I might simply as soon as wish to really feel as highly effective as a toddler throwing their sippy cup while sitting atop their excessive chair
— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) December 12, 2022
5yo: mommy are you able to make me a bald egg?
— Princess | Sleep & Wellness (@themultiplemom) December 15, 2022
me: are you speaking a few BOILED egg.
him: the onerous egg with no pores and skin and hair.
I laughed so onerous the opposite day I ended up having to vary my pants. Now when my toddler pees via a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, ‘it’s okay, mommy does it too.’
— One Awkward Mother (@oneawkwardmom) December 13, 2022
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