Marriage is stuffed with highs, lows and a complete bunch of extraordinary moments in between.
In some way, the spouses of Twitter proceed to seek out humor within the trivia of married life ― and sum it up completely in not more than 280 characters.
Each different week, we spherical up the funniest marriage tweets of the earlier 14 days. Learn on for 21 new relatable ones that can have you ever laughing in settlement.
My spouse’s touring for work. Please ship me some random chores or shout one thing sarcastic, so I don’t miss her. Thanks
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 11, 2023
Husband: *texting me* Any probability we will skip that banquet tonight?
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) April 21, 2023
Me: *already in my pajamas* If that’s what you really need.
I do know I should not get indignant at my husband for one thing he did in a dream, however he purchased a freakin' tiny home. that is unacceptable wtf
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 17, 2023
My husband simply marched me into our bed room to scold me for leaving my garments on the ground and as he was delivering his speech he began surreptitiously selecting up his personal garments from the ground and that is marriage, child.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) April 22, 2023
Me and my husband had been arguing about who was going to wash the lounge. My 9yo from the opposite room, "are you guys flirting?" We checked out one another like are we flirting? Is that this flirting now?
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) April 22, 2023
My daughter got here in at 3 am and mentioned she will be able to’t sleep her sister is loud night breathing and if this doesn’t put together her for marriage I don’t know what is going to.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) April 14, 2023
Husband: “I put your automotive keys again in your fanny pack.”
— Mediocre Mother (@MediocreMamaa) April 13, 2023
Me: “iT’s CaLLeD a BeLt BaG."
Assist! I’m making a playlist to drive to Michigan subsequent week and wish upbeat solutions. My spouse not too long ago knowledgeable me that the music I like is “actually miserable” and makes her “need to go out”. 🙏
— lucy bexley 🧃 (@bexley_lucy) April 21, 2023
Marriage is simply asking one another “What was that?” each time you hear a noise in the home for the remainder of your life
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) April 20, 2023
Our canine is aware of approach too many phrases now, so my husband and I've resorted to speaking like Victorian the Aristocracy to get something by him. "Have you ever taken the canine on a brisk journey not too long ago? Would you escort the canine to the yard, forthwith? Has he supped but?"
— Ashley Reisinger (@Awritesinger) April 22, 2023
There’s at all times that one who runs the dishwasher half full, and one other who waits till it’s full to run it. They usually marry one another.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) April 18, 2023
Each time somebody introduces me as @inlandemperor’s spouse I say “really she’s *my* spouse”
— Sarah Rebecca Kessler (@moveablejaw) April 11, 2023
my spouse requested to place the ac on when it’s 61° outdoors, that’s when the combat began
— Dad Set In opposition to (@DadSetAgainst) April 21, 2023
My husband simply defined to me that he is not reducing his hair because of the hockey playoffs. I'm wondering once they known as and requested for his assist
— imply issues I say to myself (@meantomyself) April 23, 2023
My spouse didn’t open a package deal the minute it arrived and I’m beginning to surprise if she’s a psychopath
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) April 21, 2023
Me: Do this factor I like.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) April 24, 2023
Husband: Soaks dishes.
My husband simply stumbled over his phrases and by accident accused me of "weaponized incontinence" and now I am simply questioning what that will even appear like.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) April 21, 2023
Hear me out, marriage with subscription choices: “I’d like a month-to-month marriage please with the ‘cancel penalty-free at any time’ possibility and the one month free join bonus.”
— nika (@nikalamity) April 13, 2023
Welcome again to the Being In The Manner Olympics the place I've someway received bronze, silver and gold based on my spouse
— Lord Hugh Mungus (@PoodleSnarf) April 14, 2023
My spouse will be overly dramatic, however hardly ever "climate app rain alert" dramatic.
— A Dad Affect #🟦 (@gbergan) April 17, 2023
On a date with my husband, and I googled “issues for adults to do with out youngsters” in our metropolis as a result of I’ve actually forgotten.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 15, 2023
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