Marriage is stuffed with highs, lows and an entire bunch of extraordinary moments in between.
In some way, the spouses of Twitter proceed to search out humor within the trivialities of married life ― and sum it up completely in not more than 280 characters.
Each different week, we spherical up the funniest marriage tweets of the earlier 14 days. Learn on for 23 new relatable ones that can have you ever laughing in settlement.
My spouse: *builds a pillow fort round her* I would like all these pillows for sound sleep
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 2, 2023
Additionally my spouse: Why don’t you ever cuddle
At some point my spouse and I have been younger and wild and now she texts me from one finish of the home to convey her a glass of prune juice.
— Dadman Strolling (@dadmann_walking) March 29, 2023
My husband simply referred to as me from House Depot to ask me the place one thing was within the retailer, so I suppose I am the one who wears the cargo pants on this household.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) April 2, 2023
Howdy. I might prefer to report a felony. I despatched my husband out to get provides for a charcuterie board and he got here again with none cheese.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) April 6, 2023
Returned from my work journey and husband simply says, “thanks for coming again.”
— MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) March 30, 2023
me, when my spouse begins firing off questions earlier than I've had my first cup of morning espresso pic.twitter.com/HffTXL5nEx
— 🌜🤷♂️Dad Moon Rising 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) April 7, 2023
my spouse’s superpower is conjuring up towels — a spill and she or he instantly has one in hand. I ain’t ever seen that polka dot towel earlier than wtf
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) March 29, 2023
My husband went from “It’s only a canine” to “This Brita water is for the canine.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 5, 2023
my spouse is heading out of city for just a few days and completely fucking ROASTED me pic.twitter.com/nYqnvp1Mq1
— Village Particular person (@SvnSxty) March 28, 2023
anytime my husband sees some meals combo that appears completely gross and shouldn’t exist i find yourself muttering “I’d nonetheless eat it” thus without end sustaining the stability in our lives
— That Mother Tho (@mom_tho) April 6, 2023
My husband’s superpower is opening one thing loud and crackly each time I attempt to discuss after we’re within the kitchen.
— Laura is rarely prepared (@ericamorecambe) March 29, 2023
I ponder if my husband thinks our cleaning soap, tissues and olive oil robotically refill.
— MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) April 10, 2023
Marriage is simply texting one another “oh man are you able to imagine [x]” from the opposite room till considered one of you dies
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 2, 2023
Energy was out for round 30 or so minutes final night time and I truly needed to spend a while with my husband.
— 🎨🖌️🐰Mona Lisa: Easter Version🐰🖌️🎨 (@QueenVofCoffee) April 10, 2023
I believe I like him.
My spouse’s favourite place is the place I’m bent over the kitchen sink doing the dishes.
— Crac⚡ked (@a_simpl_man) April 10, 2023
There are two kinds of folks, each suppose the opposite one can’t drive and so they find yourself getting married to one another
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 31, 2023
After virtually 13 years of marriage, the hubby and I hold the romance alive by checking on one another's again ache.
— Uncooked Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) April 3, 2023
My husband simply pulled the hole-filled socks straight off of my ft and threw them into the rubbish.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) April 9, 2023
my husband wasn’t conscious that ordering my drink at starbucks have been a part of the vows i believe he’s questioning every thing
— That Mother Tho (@mom_tho) April 2, 2023
Husband takes it upon himself to maneuver a lamp from the place I prefer it within the room to the place he likes it.
— Laura is rarely prepared (@ericamorecambe) April 1, 2023
My spouse and I walked into Costco solely needing to purchase a cookie tray and paper towels.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) April 7, 2023
Lengthy story quick we have to purchase an even bigger home now.
In case you heard somebody screaming in agony for a couple of minutes, that was my husband. He obtained hit by a turtle shell in Mario Kart.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 4, 2023
my spouse loves after we make the mattress collectively due to the alternatives it provides her to redo all of the components I do incorrectly
— 🌜🤷♂️Dad Moon Rising 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) April 10, 2023
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