The women of Twitter by no means fail to brighten our day with their sensible and succinct wit. Every week, HuffPost Girls rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll by way of this week’s nice tweets from ladies, after which go to our “Funniest Tweets From Girls” web page for previous roundups.
Having a boyfriend is so superior like there’s only a man in ur home whose job it's to know the place international locations are and what precisely Watergate was
— rayne fisher-quann (@raynefq) February 20, 2023
You have simply ordered Pizza Hut and a 2L Mountain Dew. You have loaded up RuneScape in your PC. No college tomorrow. Your mother and father do not care should you keep up all evening lengthy. An ideal Summer season evening. You might be 39 years previous. The 12 months is 2023.
— Alison (@AmericanHussy) February 23, 2023
The lengths we'll go to keep away from the metric system pic.twitter.com/DGfAG2GEM4
— Carly Anne York, Ph.D. (@BiologyCarly) February 22, 2023
actually rooting for the tab I've open about how one can strengthen your hip flexors. hope your time comes, babe.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 23, 2023
Simply remembered in 2020 an organization paid me to make a video studying twas the evening earlier than Christmas for his or her vacation get together and I learn it actually seductively for no purpose and so they replied asking for a non-sexy model as a result of there have been gonna be youngsters on the get together
— raina (@quakerraina) February 18, 2023
leaving mass and a teenage woman whipped out SETTING SPRAY to placed on her brow over the cross....we reside one other day — mc nanda (@mcunanda) February 22, 2023
There’s a British homicide present a couple of nun who rides a moped and is a part-time forensic scientist and I really feel like possibly everybody must settle down
— 🤌🏾 Imani Gandy 👆🏾 (@AngryBlackLady) February 22, 2023
me and my mates after we go on our telephones collectively https://t.co/ogWtyYxiAn
— elle (@itselleokay) February 19, 2023
I do know I’d by no means get sucked right into a cult as a result of I loooove telling folks no and never leaving my home
— Rose Dommu (@rosedommu) February 20, 2023
the drunk dialing of your 30s is consuming an excessive amount of caffeine then sending your pals unhinged and principally pointless voice memos
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) February 19, 2023
ME: i am solely afraid of two issues: public talking and ghosts
— erin chack (@ErinChack) February 20, 2023
[later, on stage]
CROWD: BOOOOOOOO
ME: oh no
me after writing one (largely unusable) paragraph pic.twitter.com/r3hK0LUURY
— Emily Saladino (@EmilySaladino) February 17, 2023
I enter Hudson Information. I'm going right into a fugue state. I depart with one soda, two magazines, and a few crackers I’ve by no means heard of. I've spent $78. This appears correct and proper.
— Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq. (@clapifyoulikeme) February 23, 2023
i randomly take into consideration how in center college i didn’t discuss at ALL! I didn't say one phrase.. at some point, a gaggle of children gathered round me and have been tryna push me to say “hello” i lastly whispered “hello” and inform me why all of them screamed and cheered LMFAO
— R👗 (@xxoorita) February 18, 2023
A woman on the airport introduced her personal private tube of mayonnaise. I’ve yassified her to take care of anonymity however she’s my hero. pic.twitter.com/vaBvoZpdWX
— Michelle Collins (@michcoll) February 18, 2023
my buddy simply came upon 1 12 months right into a relationship that her therapist is her boyfriend’s mother
— alli (@sonofalli) February 22, 2023
Calling Lent "Mark Wahlberg's 40-Day Problem" any further https://t.co/0AdYsXKYUs
— Ruth Graham (@publicroad) February 22, 2023
I informed my 8 year-old niece about Flaco the owl being on the free in Central Park, after which she spent her whole go to assessing each canine we handed on the sidewalk for whether or not or not it was liable to turning into Flaco’s prey. Passing a chihuahua: “That canine is certainly in danger.”
— Julia Carrie Wong (@juliacarriew) February 20, 2023
Somebody please inform me that is for one thing apart from a child convention/toddler symposium pic.twitter.com/EipxLFgB9y
— myspace woman numbers station (@sheherzog) February 22, 2023
no babe don’t fear that’s my emotional help ex boyfriend who I textual content each time a relationship doesn’t work out
— abby govindan (@abbygov) February 22, 2023
I like when a spot title simply straight up tells you what you’re entering into pic.twitter.com/Lh6SSuITyt
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) February 24, 2023
wait i actually simply realized vienna waits for me
— maddie (@fettyschwapp) February 22, 2023
significantly beginning assume marvel films are like jury obligation for actors https://t.co/9HwGDMEQqo
— anna (@tenderfates) February 23, 2023
Howdy Darkness my previous buddy…
— mariana Z (@mariana057) February 18, 2023
I stood up too quick once more.
WELL IT IS 6:25 AM TIME TO LOOK UP THE GIRL FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL WHO RANDOMLY WROTE A SHORT STORY WHERE THE NAZIS WERE THE GOOD GUYS AND SEE WHAT SHES UP TO
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) February 21, 2023
Me: ew, who’s calling me? If it’s that vital they will depart a voicemail
— Iris✨ (@Jest_Iris) February 21, 2023
Me 10 second later: ew, who left me a voicemail??
The historic American Lady dolls from 1999 ought to include their very own tiny American Lady Dolls pic.twitter.com/zFk6sw8p9C
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) February 22, 2023
I’m not arguing with anybody who has their very own image as their lock display. I stepped out of line and I apologize.
— taurus woman (@jaxajueny) February 23, 2023
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