Marriage is filled with highs, lows and a complete bunch of bizarre moments in between.
One way or the other, the spouses of Twitter proceed to seek out humor within the trivia of married life ― and sum it up completely in not more than 280 characters.
Each different week, we spherical up the funniest marriage tweets of the earlier 14 days. Learn on for 23 new relatable ones that may have you ever laughing in settlement.
I by no means actually considered couple's remedy till my husband entered his third week of getting a cough.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) January 8, 2023
I wasn’t in a foul temper however then my husband requested if I used to be in a foul temper 4 instances in quarter-hour and now I’m irritated af
— Julicorn (@ChicksRule) January 10, 2023
My spouse makes a grocery listing like there perhaps a prize for many organized listing.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 9, 2023
My spouse referred to as and requested me to get the rooster thighs out of the freezer. I informed her we don’t have any rooster thighs within the freezer so she stated she’d verify when she will get home- your ideas and prayers are appreciated
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) January 13, 2023
I am fairly pissed off my husband did not reply to the textual content I forgot to ship.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 8, 2023
My husband is so invested within the Spherical Desk Pizza being constructed close to us.
— Benjamin Siemon (@BenjaminJS) January 4, 2023
Each time I say my again hurts, my husband factors out that I’m about to show 40 so now I must plan a celebration and begin divorce proceedings
— Actual Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 5, 2023
Me: Fully silent for an hour.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) January 10, 2023
Husband: *activates the television*
Me: Instantly asks him 20 questions.
Sitting on the sofa…
— MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) January 4, 2023
My mind: Do now we have meals for dinner? When did I final wash our sheets? Bear in mind to ebook physician appt. Did I ship my proposal on time? Can the canine go one other week earlier than getting groomed? Test mortgage went through.
My husband’s: Do you swallow if you sleep?
I’m beginning to assume there aren't any actual winners within the “I received much less sleep than you” contest my husband and I've each night time.
— Andi (@smiles_and_nods) January 13, 2023
Me: I’m primary on the leaderboard!!
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) January 16, 2023
Husband: What number of different persons are within the—
Me: Shhh…@onepeloton
My spouse and children requested me if I may begin going outdoors or to the basement to blow my nostril within the mornings.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 12, 2023
Why do husbands go to sleep for 9 straight hours after which want naps?
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 7, 2023
spouse: may you clear the desk?
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) January 8, 2023
me: okay however I am going to want a working begin
spouse: what
Foreplay after 40 is texting your spouse photographs of walk-in closets.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) January 5, 2023
at dinner my spouse stated one thing I knew was 💯 fallacious so I started to appropriate her...stopped myself and simply nodded. Later that night time out of the blue she requested me if I needed a bowl of ice cream. Subsequent husband degree achieved
— 🌜🤷♂️Dad Moon Rising 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) January 11, 2023
Spouse, within the subsequent room sends humorous reel.
— Draggin Father Behind (@DragginFatherB) January 11, 2023
Me [texting]: LOL
Spouse [texting back]: I didn’t hear you
My husband and I'm going to the identical particular person for haircuts and she or he simply informed me she provides quarter-hour to his appointments when scheduling as a result of he is so chatty.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) January 6, 2023
We haven’t misplaced any of the magic in our marriage. I clear a floor, and, inside seconds, issues are put down in precisely the identical spot.
— Laura isn't prepared (@ericamorecambe) January 4, 2023
My husband stopped on the retailer on his method dwelling & made the error of texting our household group chat, asking if anybody wanted something.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 13, 2023
$230 later he texted, “I’m by no means asking once more.”
ready for my spouse to approve my new yr’s decision of creating unbiased choices
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 5, 2023
Began doing a enjoyable factor the place when Greg refers to me as his spouse I yell YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED!!!!everybody loves it
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) January 3, 2023
I needed to get one thing below the sink and ruined my spouse's submitting system of cleansing merchandise that apparently took her years to good.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) January 11, 2023
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