Children might say the darndest issues, however dad and momtweet about them within the funniest methods. To that finish, each week, we spherical up essentially the most hilarious quips from dad and mom on Twitter to unfold the enjoyment.
Scroll right down to learn the newest batch, and comply with @HuffPostParents on Twitter for extra!
So excited for my youngsters to return to high school so I can spend my free time studying the 50 emails their college sends every day
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) August 15, 2022
6 yo, unsuspecting: What number of minutes are in a single yr?
— Strolling NPR (@WalkingNPR) August 15, 2022
Me, A musical theater nerd who got here of age within the 90s: My second has arrived…..
6 hours right into a 6.5 hour highway journey my six yr previous says she’s homesick so there’s that
— That Mother Tho (@mom_tho) August 13, 2022
My toddler’s daycare apparently makes use of the “clear up” tune. My husband and I found this yesterday after we began singing it and it activated our child like she was a sleeper agent and he or she instantly began placing her toys away.
— Marie CCS (@Marie_ClySar) August 14, 2022
My 6-year-old is sick with a cough, so I informed him gargling with heat salt water can assist. He checked out me & mentioned, "I am NOT going all the best way to the ocean proper now."
— A Bearer Of Dad Information (@HomeWithPeanut) August 15, 2022
. my child
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 18, 2022
enjoyable college
at residence image day pic.twitter.com/qqhYFVNBKU
My daughter gave me “coupons” for my birthday with subjects like, “Daddy-Daughter Lunch” and “Daddy-Daughter Ice Cream Store.” It’s so candy she desires to spend a while and my cash with me.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 16, 2022
It’s superb how a lot my 5 yr previous desires to speak about his birthday the second it’s another person’s birthday
— threetimedaddy 🇺🇦 (@threetimedaddy) August 17, 2022
My little woman is fiercely unbiased. She will not even maintain palms on a stroll as a result of she "does not need assistance!" So once I felt her attain up and gently maintain my hand as we walked into the primary day of kindergarten I teared up. Then she dragged it throughout her slimy nostril like a kleenex.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 17, 2022
My youngsters have two settings, lovable angels or ransacking raccoons
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 15, 2022
My 10yo son as soon as informed me he doesn’t need youngsters as a result of he “doesn’t need Cheerios in his automotive.” Couldn’t argue.
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) August 17, 2022
Made the error of mentioning a radio to my 7-year-old who had no thought what one even is. Needed to clarify it with phrases like bluetooth speaker and streaming.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 16, 2022
My son found you could have 3 tabs of Duolingo open for 10 minutes and it'll file half-hour on his instructor's finish
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) August 15, 2022
My son additionally found that I do not suppose it is as cool as he thinks it's and now he has to take a seat subsequent to me for half-hour a day when he does his homework
My 7yo informed us she had a dream that she got here downstairs late final night time and noticed us consuming cake and omg I can’t imagine that truly labored
— I Disguise From My Children (@IHideFromMyKids) August 15, 2022
5 informed me she’d draw my portrait then requested to have a look at a potato so she might “get my face proper” and I don’t actually know the place we go from right here
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) August 15, 2022
7: Mother can I inform you the longest dream I had?
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 16, 2022
Me: Why don’t you write it down so I can take in it? However first inform Dad.
57% of my conversations with my youngsters are about their video games. 20% are about what i can purchase them subsequent and the opposite 23% is complaining about video games or what i didn't purchase them.
— Dadman Strolling (@dadmann_walking) August 16, 2022
4yo by chance activated Siri on the Apple TV distant, and couldn’t determine learn how to make it go away, so he began shouting NEVERMIND on the distant.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) August 14, 2022
My husband got here residence to search out me vacuuming filth out of the bath and had the audacity to ask how the children had been right this moment
— One Awkward Mother (@oneawkwardmom) August 17, 2022
I am sorry I am late, my 3yo determined his shirt was too blue.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) August 17, 2022
My daughter is at a pal’s home and they're prank calling me from the landline and holy shit I’ve by no means been extra proud. Anyway, gotta go… my fridge is working. Apparently.
— Luke+ (@lukeplusone) August 16, 2022
When my sister had youngsters earlier than me and he or she’d say they had been being assholes, I’d be like Woaaa and now I’m like Ohhhh.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 17, 2022
One minute you might be younger and carefree and the following minute your youngsters are asking for assist with their historical past homework since you had been alive within the nineteen a whole bunch.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 16, 2022
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