Youngsters might say the darndest issues, however dad and momtweet about them within the funniest methods. To that finish, each week, we spherical up probably the most hilarious quips from dad and mom on Twitter to unfold the enjoyment.
Scroll all the way down to learn the most recent batch, and observe @HuffPostParents on Twitter for extra!
Sometime, God keen, I'll attend my kids’s weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets.
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) July 17, 2022
6: why does J have two mommies?
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) July 20, 2022
Me: some children have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy… all households look diff-
6: I want I had two mommies
My husband:
My teen stated I used to be outdated and out of contact. I instructed him to eat my shorts trigger that is hella whack dwelling skillet.
— Dadman Strolling (@dadmann_walking) July 19, 2022
when ppl maintain the child and the child cries & dad and mom say “oh he’s simply drained,” we’re mendacity, the child actually does hate you
— Dad Set In opposition to (@DadSetAgainst) July 17, 2022
My child requested me for a burrito however “with out all of the yucky stuff inside” so I’m fairly certain he needs a tortilla
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) July 18, 2022
Welcome to parenthood. You now inform the individuals behind you in mini golf to “play via.”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) July 18, 2022
My 4-year-old says the flawed identify for a lot of issues. It is cute, however I do attempt to assist him say the proper phrase. At the moment, he stated Walnuts as a substitute of Walmart & I might need to let this one slide.
— A Bearer Of Dad Information (@HomeWithPeanut) July 19, 2022
Whereas educating your teen to drive simply know it's very regular if you happen to maintain having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling.
— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) July 18, 2022
being a mother or father is cool as a result of each morning I get up probably the most drained I’ve been in my complete life, understanding I'll someway be extra drained tomorrow. after which the child goes “goo” or some shit and it’s like I simply did MDMA
— amy b (@arb) July 14, 2022
new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter simply rolled over, put her face actually near my face, and threw up in my hair
— Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) July 20, 2022
I could not have taught my son tips on how to begin a campfire or throw a spiral, however by god he'll know tips on how to correctly open a field of cereal.
— The Alex Nevil 2.0 (@AlexNevilAgain) July 17, 2022
Took children swimming and there have been a great deal of individuals there. My 5 12 months outdated squeezed my hand and stated “Daddy, I don’t do busy” and I’ve by no means associated to him extra
— threetimedaddy 🇺🇦 (@threetimedaddy) July 17, 2022
I’ve by no means met a greater negotiator than a child who doesn’t need to fall asleep
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) July 19, 2022
You have no idea passive-aggressive till you’ve listened to a mother or father answering questions from a baby who received’t go the fuck to sleep.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) July 17, 2022
Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice dice simply melted in his apple juice
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 18, 2022
I inform all 3 of my children that they're the password little one.
— Clearly Everybody... (@OMGSoOverIt) July 18, 2022
My 3 yr outdated requested if He may play with some “cock & balls”. After giving him a clean stare he stated “I need white fluffy cock & balls” and omg I’ve by no means been so blissful to let a toddler throw cotton balls throughout my ground.
— Bre (@fullofmomsense) July 18, 2022
9yo is yelling at 13yo for consuming many of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for ending the field and I’m hiding within the breakfast room consuming a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they don’t discover me as a result of I don’t wish to share.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) July 16, 2022
4 says all these automobiles are in line for gasoline. She already is aware of manner an excessive amount of in regards to the apocalypse. pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW
— Adam (@YSylon) July 17, 2022
Why is there at all times bathroom paper on the toilet ground, and different mysteries of the parenting world
— Actual Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 20, 2022
My 4 12 months outdated didn’t instantly run to the entrance window to look at the rubbish truck go by immediately so if you happen to’ll excuse me I’ll be sobbing into his child onesies
— One Awkward Mother (@oneawkwardmom) July 18, 2022
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