Children might say the darndest issues, however mother and fathertweet about them within the funniest methods. So every week, we spherical up essentially the most hilarious quips from mother and father on Twitter to unfold the enjoyment.
Scroll right down to learn the most recent batch, and observe @HuffPostParents on Twitter for extra!
I do not know if there is a proper time in your preschooler to whisper, "are people made out of meat?" in your ear, however I do know that 3 AM is the improper time.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 8, 2022
I'd by no means say I've a favourite little one however one among mine is 8 kilos and simply sleeps and drinks milk from my physique letting me burn 800 energy a day whereas sitting and the opposite referred to as my gown “busy” and screams at me if his granola is just too near OR too removed from his yogurt.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) March 5, 2022
Million greenback thought:
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 8, 2022
Dinosaur hen nuggets that will trigger drowsiness.
Accomplish no matter duties you may have in the present day with the arrogance of a child who claims to have brushed their tooth
— A Bearer Of Dad Information (@HomeWithPeanut) March 10, 2022
Unlocked the subsequent degree of being a dad, by eradicating and placing again the identical batteries to get a lifeless distant working
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 7, 2022
10 y/o daughter stated a boy named, Bryan, was attempting to roast her at recess so she instructed him, “This has been enjoyable, Brad, however I've to go.” I stated I assumed his title was Bryan and she or he smiled and stated, “It's.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) March 10, 2022
She’ll just do superb with bullies.
Have children so as a substitute of waking as much as an alarm clock you could be jarred awake by a 6yo two inches out of your face letting you understand the bathroom is clogged.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 9, 2022
My 4yo went to his college library and borrowed two books. We already personal each books.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) March 9, 2022
Turn into a mum or dad, so that you could be accused of “utilizing up all of the web” when Fortnite glitches for a millisecond.
— The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) March 6, 2022
you are a mum or dad and also you solely get 6 guesses for what snack your toddler actually needs. the sport is known as, snackle.
— Dadman Strolling (@dadmann_walking) March 8, 2022
My 8yr previous simply walked as much as the fridge and stated “do I want meals or do I need meals” and now he’s the resident grownup in our home
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) March 10, 2022
My toddler can’t pronounce many phrases however she has no downside saying “shit” clear as day.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 6, 2022
2yo: MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) March 8, 2022
me: What?
2yo: I need some quiet time.
I haven't got siblings, so I do not get it when my children are like, "I am going to provide you with one among my kidneys however good luck attempting to get me to share this snack with you."
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) March 7, 2022
6yo: that is my boyfriend
— mother mother mother mother mother (@notmythirdrodeo) March 9, 2022
me: what’s his title?
6yo, whispers to boy: what’s your title?
me: been there
my son was invited to a birthday celebration so i texted the children mother to rsvp and she or he left me on learn and now my nervousness about different mother and father has tripled and nobody warned me this could be the toughest half
— That Mother Tho (@mom_tho) March 6, 2022
My children spill round 6432957 cups of water day-after-day however they gained’t let me neglect that one time I shook a bottle of purple juice and it went over all of us and your entire kitchen as a result of I forgot I’d simply taken the lid off
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) March 8, 2022
My 5 12 months previous introduced me a sleeve of saltines and requested if he may "have his personal line of crackers"
— imply issues I say to myself (@meantomyself) March 7, 2022
Tonight throughout dinner occured what can solely be described as my shining second of fatherhood. My 5 year- previous regarded up at me with a loving, curious gaze and stated "dad are you able to make a fart noise together with your underarm?" The tears started to effectively in my eyes as I lifted up my shirt sleeve
— 🍁Yukon Gold (@GrahamKritzer) March 8, 2022
Parenting: as a result of sleep is pointless and who wants cash
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) March 7, 2022
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